Last week, I attended an interfaith dinner at a local synagogue. Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, and others broke bread together and listened to presentations on Jewish holidays. I sat next to the Purim presenter—an 11th grade boy in a kippah with a bleach blond curl hanging over one eye. I’ll call him “Jacob.” Jacob told me about his 8-bit music compositions using an old Game Boy, the colleges where he wants to apply, and bassoon composers. We also talked about religion. He said, “I like being Jewish, but I don’t really see myself as religious.” He liked being part of his synagogue, was obviously involved and respected by the adults around him, and gave the most engaging and fun presentation that evening. But as we ate buttered challah before dinner, Jacob shared with me that he probably would not continue to be “religious” when he left for college.
There is no shortage of speculation about why religious institutions are failing young people. Yet, here is a young man who feels welcome, fully engages with his community and its worship, is recognized for his gifts and leadership, and still doesn’t plan to continue being “religious.” (What he might mean by that term would be a whole other blog post.)
If Jacob goes off to college next year and never walks into another synagogue again, it’s not because his synagogue didn’t do enough to nurture faith in young people. He’s proof that they’ve done a great job.
I also felt welcomed and accepted by the church I grew up in. I loved church—the hush and mystery of our formal worship service, the music, the mission trips, the drama program, the adults who engaged with kids. Even so, plenty of kids in my youth group walked away from church anyway and, as far as I know, probably have never looked back. Was it my church’s fault? My pastor’s fault? Their parents’ fault?
I don’t think so.
I think our culture is what’s changing. Institutions—whether churches, schools, municipalities, or nations—locate authority and knowledge in very specific places: a book, a leader, a set of bylaws, a governing structure. But our world is becoming a place where sources of authority and knowledge are disparate and diverse: internet searches, social media, self-produced and self-promoted novels, music, and films. We are becoming a Me and My Smart Phone World. Many of us navigate the world through a narrow portal held in our hands or laps, a portal for personal experience, perspective, and tastes. Self-reflection and expression, at least in the culturally dominant White middle and upper class, are valued more highly than ethnic identity, group membership, or institutional participation. More and more, technology is encouraging us to explore meaning, knowledge, and transcendence as individuals rather than as members of communities or groups.
Jacob told me he saw religion as a cultural practice that makes him feel a part of his family’s heritage and identity. Religion seemed like something he associated with his childhood and his past, but not as much his future. However, as we talked about how religion might look different in the future, he was excited to tell me about a religion that has been officially recognized in Sweden: Kopimism, which he called “a file-sharing religion.” Kopimism, founded by a 19-year old philosophy graduate student, seems more like an activist group than a religion. But its basic premise—that it is a human right to share authority broadly with no strings attached—does, I believe, have something to do with why many young people aren’t attracted to organized religion.
That doesn’t mean religious congregations should give up, or that they’re doomed, or that some young people won’t become passionately religious people. My fear is that congregations will become obsessed with ways to “fix” our churches, believing that we can convince young people not to leave by provocative Tweets, new worship styles, the right youth pastor, a “relevant message,” or some other magical solution. If only our churches were different, we suppose, our teenagers and young adults would be attending regularly and worshipping with gusto. Standing in the midst of a cultural shift like this one, we can’t think that way. This is not to say that we shouldn’t try new things or think of what would benefit our young people. But like Jacob, they may still not feel as though organized religion is a place for them, even if they love their congregation.
Instead, we should have confidence that it is enough to be a faith community with integrity—with great worship, music, traditions, and youth programs, whatever they may be in our tradition and congregation—and to be a faith community that cares about and celebrates kids.
Jacob also asked me about my tradition. He wanted to know where the term “Episcopal” came from and the history of the tradition. He listened to me talk about Henry VIII and Elizabeth I, the Book of Common Prayer, and the Revolutionary War. He said, “Wow, that’s really neat. It sounds like it was all about freedom of conscience, wasn’t it?” It was refreshing to converse with someone—a sixteen-year old, no less—who could talk about religion in a thoughtful and open way.
Religion and spirituality aren’t going to disappear. Historically in the United States, young people are simply less engaged in religion than their elders. The Pew Forum reports that the number of young adults who say they pray on a regular basis is similar to rates reported by other generations when they were the same age. Millennials believe in God “with absolute certainty” at a rate similar to Generation X, ten years before. The world is changing, but perhaps some things will stay the same. Will the church look different in 100 years? Probably. Will people no longer be spiritual or want to gather together in some way? Probably not.
Maybe one day, Jacob will become a Kopimist. Maybe he’ll become agnostic or atheist. Maybe he’ll identify as one of the “nones” and celebrate Passover with his family but not much else. But whatever his spiritual future, for right now, his synagogue is a part of who he is. It’s a place he feels like he can be himself, and he even feels confident enough to welcome a stranger—a young Episcopal priest who doesn’t look much older than he does—and ask her about her religion. It’s a place where he is known and has been given traditions, texts, and practices to approach his questions about God, human beings, ethics, and the purpose of life. How he integrates his religious upbringing, his cultural context, his own hopes and fears, and the promptings and guidance of God within him into his life as an adult, is impossible to predict. But his experience of religion has not been irrelevant or a failure.
Image: silent shot. Church. Available from: Flickr Commons.
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Loved reading this with one comment. We like to refer to “religious” and “faith” as interchangeable words. Jesus was/is/will always be a person/savior of faith but clearly rejected “religious” orders of the time. Faith and religious is not the same. This last weekend I had the honor of being with over 100 young people who came to this camp with a religious base but many left with a faith base. When we try to push a “religious” agenda, we will always reject “faith”. Faith goes beyound a religious tradision, be it Catholic, Prodistent of any flavor, Jewish, … Our job as a Church (or…) is to lift our youth in faith, not religion. Many tradisions help and support that faith. I love the ritual of the church that brings meaning, however, we need to find ways to make meaning of the ritual for our youth that goes beyound, “that is how we do it so it is how we will always do it”.
Lets say that the Bible is something you actually hold to high esteem. I will assume, as a minister, that the infallible Word of the Living God who saves men and women from an eternity eternally separated from Him is what you have submitted your life, ministry and eternal livelihood to.
Please take that not as hate,but as nothing more than an introductory statement to the brief question and proposal I have… based on the Word of God.
You do realize that there is not a person on this planet who does not “worship”? You say that while he does not wish to remain “religious”, he does “fully engage with community and worship.” There happens to be nothing profound in that thought, nor new or even “relevant”. There also happens to be not a soul on this planet that doesn’t, to some extent, engage in community and worship. As image bearers of God, we are created to worship. It’s part of our “spiritual DNA”, if you will. There has never been a group of people; a single soul; a nation that has failed to worship. To worship is to be. The issue lies in where we direct our worship.
Im not a worshipper of religion, I’m a worshipper of the eternal Christ.
Assuming the Bible bears weight on the lives of those who you teach(and yourself for that matter) the very fact that we all worship is the thing that condemns us if we don’t choose to aim that worship towards the one who took our place- Jesus(which there happens to be no mention of in your article).
I believe this this to be the epitome and apex of moral relativism.. which flies in the face of what Christ proclaimed about Himself being “the way, truth, and life…”
Couple of things come to mind. First, the proverb which reads, “Train a child up in the way that he should go, and when he is old, he will notdepart from it.” Says nothing of youth or for that matter, middle age. I find most kids come back to church when they have kids.
Also, in seminary I learned this: the youth are the future of the church…somebody else’s church! Make the gospel speak for today’s hearers, but don’t go crazy trying to get people in. The commandment was not to bring in — it was to “go out…”
Very interesting article. As one who ponders how to keep our young people in church, this post has some helpful things to consider. Thank you for posting.
Warren
I enjoyed reading the (should I say Blog) or dialogue. Everyone is entitled to his or her opinion. First let me share my feedback.
1.Religion says, “Look at your sin” God says, “Look at my Son”. Religion can push you to change what you do, but only God can change who you are.
2.Religion sets rules, Jesus sets free
3. Religion say: Change your behavior and It’ll change your heart.
Jesus: Let me change your heart and your behavior will change.
When Christians can identify and stop confusing Religion with Faith, the Christian community can move forward.
Throughout this Blog or dialogue, religion or religious is repeated over and over again and this is where we get in trouble, because we are shoving as mentioned above religion down a person’s throat. I defined how I see the difference between Religion and God, the Father, Son & Holy Spirit in my own words or analogy. For the groups and others who do not recognized Jesus as the living Savior at some point have to branch away from this Religious tirade of Religion, Religion, Religion. I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen; not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.
Whatever you’re chasing in religion, if it isn’t Jesus, when you catch it you still won’t be satisfied.
I found this to be in interesting perspective on what is happening in churches no matter what name you put over the door. I agree with those who have commented that faith and religion aren’t necessarily the same thing. I’m personally cautious when I hear rumblings that we should change the way we do things to attract a younger crowd, or a different demographic. Change isn’t inherently bad, but it doesn’t necessarily bring about the result we want. As Christians we have the best teacher and His lessons are as meaningful today and to every age group as when He spoke them. Love one another… What worked for Him will work for us.
As a young person who left the church for a few years of college and came back: this is the ideal situation. Young people like Jacob have been formed in the traditions, language, and most importantly the values of their faith traditions. I was the same way: raised in a mainline church, active in youth groups, etc. I didn’t feel the personal connection to God or the personal need for faith when I went away to college, and the community I was used to was gone.
But when I needed that support, and find myself leaning on God more and more, I was fully prepared to go back to church. And I found that my formation in the values, traditions, and language of the church was crucial to allowing me to do that.
I’d like to reprint this in our diocesan email newsletter, if you’ll give me permission… I’ll give your website and the author credit and links to them as well, of course. The call “to be a faith community with integrity” is an important one, I believe!
We talked about this post in our weekly podcast, which you can find at http://wordandtablepodcast.org/2013/05/14/episode-16-the-high-school-musical-model-of-church/. I really agree with some of Heidi’s main points, and may be reading into her article in places, as Jared, one of my co-podcasters, accuses me of.
I agree with a lot of this, but don’t want to let this be a excuse fro congregations to not try and evolve some. For example, having a great website or a facebook presence does not mean giving up great worship and traditional church life.
Most congregations that I meet who are not engaging young adults are also not really engaging new adults of any age.
What keeps everyone in the church, not just kids, has historically been love. As an absolute, Love is very large but juxtaposed to scripture, tradition, and reason there are not only boundaries but complimentary tensions always at work; hetero/homo, hetero/homo/pedofilia, philios/eros/agape, etc. The only answer to these polarities, within love or any absolute, are to keep them in balance. Juxtaposed to maintaining this balance in dealing with Love there is also the complimentary tensions of power and authority, which arise within the absolute of Law. Lots of good-looking people get authority but many of the same should not be in power, because they have no intention or ability of keeping any balance… they only wish to be in power…and many just to play…
I noticed this young man is interested in bassoon composers which made me wonder if he views religion (church culture) the same he views classical-music culture. It made me think of it because I too grew up very involved in church and also very involved in music. I trained to be a concert pianist so needless to say I attended many concerts, performed at recitals, studied music, music consumed my every moment whether awake or asleep. It would not be an overstatement to say that music was my life. But then, life took me in a different direction and although it has been well over two decades since I set foot in a concert hall, it still has a very special place in my heart. Now I dream of a day when maybe my grandchildren will be up on stage playing Mendelssohn while I sit in tears on the front row holding my breath all the way to the last note. Music is very special to me. It is a legacy which I would love to see my grandkids embrace and pursue even though I, myself have moved on to the next season in life and left that chapter behind as a very fond memory.
After reading this article, I fear that this young man views religion as nothing more than a culture, a noble hobby. And if to him church culture and classical-music culture are no different from eachother, chances are he will regard them similarly at various stages in his life easily moving away when is no longer interesting or beneficial or convenient – the same way I did with music, the same way many of us do with sports, etc.
Church or Faith or Religion – whatever we wish to call it – is not about church CULTURE. It is about discovery and growing our relationship with God.
Consider this: when you become a teenager you don’t join the “dating culture”. No. It is something inside of you that makes you wanna start searching for that someone special and once you found that person, again, you don’t join the “couples’ culture”. It is in your heart, in your instinct to want to get to know that person and experience what it means to love and to be loved.
I believe THIS is the difference between church and “church culture” or “sports culture” or “classical-music culture”.
The MEANS by which we do church may change but the DESIRE will always be there, unchanged. And THAT is what the churches should focus on: developing the DESIRE for a relationship with God, not capturing our members through entertainment, buildings, programs or even guilt trips
How do you do that, you ask? Well, how does Hollywood go about developing our desire for prettier, skinnier, wealthier, easier, faster? We need to use the same approach to develop our people’s DESIRE for God.
… and then they’ll stay in church – be it a geographical location or a digital church.